happy monday, my feral friends,

i have a confession to make.  i have an addiction.  (wow, surprise, right?)  like, if anyone knows me for five minutes or knows anything (anything) about my “romantic liasons” you knows that i have an addictive personality.  (really?  that guy?  for almost a year?  like…that guy?)  but, this one is becoming a health threat.

it’s a heavy monkey and my supplier even gives me a discount.  he even brings this stuff for me from another town.

criminal minds.

yep, not a description of me and the supplier, the t.v. show.  it’s sick.  i’m sick.  season three is where i currently am.  i don’t own a t.v. so i was a little late to this party.  i watched season three this weekend.  friday to be more exact.  well, friday/saturday.  it’s somewhere between 16 and 18 hours of blood gore and this guy.  although this guy has always been more my type, i’m addicted to this guy.  one more.  (told you i’m addicted.) thankfully, i get plenty of both on this show.

so, yesterday was spent trying to make up for my enormous sleep debt that this bloody binge accrued for me.

but, monday is my day of intensity at the gym.  intensity equals sprint cycles and heavy weights.  generally, i try not to do both on the same day.  i did both today.  and i almost puked.

because i hate the gym as a place to workout, it’s fun to just people watch. there’s a LOT of deadmill action with sad faces and skinny fat bodies.  i would rather be fat fat and skinny strong than skinny fat.  true story.  it’s something about the fluppy skin.

anyway, today’s workout (and please, please borrow it.  it’s a good one.  although you may want to split it into two days if you’re new to intensity as opposed to endurance, a.k.a. chronic cardio.

i set the cool stair master machine to do speed intervals every 30 seconds (and apparently the machine thought it was pretty cool itself.  it had quite the attitude.  on my easy cycles, it’s screen would go blank in a glaring sort of way, then light up with “stride faster” flashing with some impatience.  i got your faster right here, stair master.)  i also set the time for these intervals to 8 minutes max.

8 minutes?  i can almost hear the condescension from my deadmillin’ friends who regularly clock 30-45 minutes and feel saintly.  trust me, if you’re doing it right, you should not be able to last more than 8 minutes.

then, it was off to the weights.  but, not right away…i walked around in circles, gripping my sweat towel behind my head, willing myself not to pass out.

i did one set of five reps each: (new to weights?  rep is short for repetition and you count every time you do an exercise as a rep.  a set is how many cycles of reps you do.  so, if you do five push-ups, stop and do five more, you’ve done two sets of five reps of push-ups.)

squats (dear squats, i LOVE you.)

deadlifts (dear deadlifts, don’t tell squats, but i LOVE you, too)

barbell bent-over row (dear row….um……..coffee sometime?)

i did them at the heaviest weight i could handle.

i was done with my entire workout in fifteen minutes.

and i KNOW you have fifteen minutes.  you don’t need a step machine or barbells.

you can just go for a walk and cycle slow walking with super-fast walking and you can just do these weight movements with empty air or soup cans or rocks or fallen tree branches.

in other news, it’s warm enough for bare shoulders today!  which is beyond awesome.  yesterday, my son took us for a drive (he’s fifteen, we have to clock the hours!) and there were people sledding.  in the snow.  on april 24.  so, trust me, bare shoulders (particularly for a wild woman who hates clothes) is big news.

proof:

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