I’m so insanely busy right now.  I’ve got a full time job for the first time in a few years.  I’ll be updating this blog with new stuff once a week, but until then, here is a vintage post. (And….I used to meditate?!?  Time to clear a little corner for this again!)

 

I started seeing a new therapist for the crazy last week.

Half-way through my “getting to know me” monologue, she split one of my phrases in two with this interruption:

“Let’s stop right there.  You need to start meditating.”

Audible sigh.

Of course, that is the third person in the past two weeks that has said this and I actually spent the weekend before this session reading “Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind”.  I don’t believe in signs, but I get it, k?

So, I’ve started sitting.  I think I’m doing three minutes at a time.  Just sitting.  Not to be confused with lounging, laying around, draping myself across an armchair, but focused sitting. Zazen.

Deep into my second minute yesterday, I had a glimpse at the truth of minimalism.  It is radical-straight to the root it goes.  It is just like sitting.  Minimalism requires focus on the important.  It takes courage.  The rest of the world is stuck on a different mantra that is so loud it drowns everything else out.  That mantra is “If I just buy _______, I’ll be complete, happy, fulfilled.”  Minimalism’s is “I am enough.”

I’ve done yoga and it’s wonderful.  But there is nothing simpler or more minimal than sitting still, breathing.  Everything else is stripped away.  The clutter of movement.  The clutter of clinging thought.  The music of guided visualization.  There is nothing.  Just me…and not really even me.  Just my breath.  Just the essential.

I’m closer and closer everyday to having only the material things that are necessary for the life I want.  But, a funny thing happened on the way to the thrift store donation warehouse….I became aware of the clutter in my mind.

And boy is it full of, well, junk.  It’s packed to the membranes with stuff that I don’t need for the life I want.  There are doubts, judgements, worries, fears, obsessions, and just more noise than the Vegas strip.

Decluttering a house can be done over a dedicated weekend.  Decluttering what’s left, the true me, is going to take considerably longer.  But, I’m throwing stuff out three minutes at a time.

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